Bettering myself for real this time!!

Ok Another day down with the walking, last night I did the tread mill for 34 minutes. I do plan to start with the weight machine soon, it just helps the weight come of easier just getting the motivation. I mean this took months of trying to kick myself in the butt to start. I feel so much better when I do exercise, I don't know why I make it a chore, its not like I am busy at all. Heck I was usually going home and sitting on the couch eating dinner doing more sitting then bed early. So what is my excuse but laziness. But no put downs cause now I am on a roll and plan to stay there..... please God let there be a big difference tomorrow on the scale.. I have really watched what I put in my mouth this week also. I have noticed today that my energy level is a bit higher also. Hasn't been like I feel like I am depriving myself. I have had yogurt and strawberries , which I love, blackend fish, I am trying to think what else I had oh ya a mini meat loaf that I put a pepper around and baked. NUMMY! a mixed salad with beets, and walnuts very tasty. I have really pushed my self not to get on the damn scale to wait the week which is tomorrow So I am praying really praying it will be good hoping at least two pounds.

Mike said, that Craig and Bob have the floor pretty much ripped up in the barn so that is a good feeling for them they have wanted to get that done for a good couple years now. So I am happy for them.
The back of the barn and the roofing will be repaired this fall which I am very greatful for. I always worry that the winter will really tear down the damn thing and give more damage. It is really a beautiful area, to go and ride around on the go cart it is just very peaceful, relaxing and serine. I do like it . I just don't like it when I am cooped up in the trailer with nothing to do. Or when its so hot that you can't go out and sit in the trailer with the air conditioner running. I could do it at home and have more room!

I am tired today, just couldn't fall asleep. Not exhausted, like I posted I do feel tired but yet invigerated, if that makes any sence. After midnight I finially took a xanax and said the heck with it.. I really am trying to not use them every night and that has been going well too.! Man I am on a roll with bettering myself!!Thank God.

Oh well, I think I am closing for today. I really like that I am writing my thoughts, not doing this for followers that is why I haven't posted that I have this blog using it as a journal.